Spongebob Schwammkopf - Radio Bikini Bottom (2023)

SpongeBob singt! Nach seinen Hits „Lecker Lecker“, „Taube Nüsschen“, „Polizeiboot“ und „Tief im Ozean“ legt der gelbe Schwamm in brauner Hose ein brandneues Album vor: „RADIO BIKINI BOTTOM“ enthält aktuelle Popsongs und Klassiker der Musikgeschichte. Ob Jason Derulo, Nina Chuba oder Robin Schulz – ob Nathan Evans oder Boney M: SpongeBob bringt uns mit seiner Stimme und einer Mischung aus Pop, Dance und Folk einen neuen, eidottergelben Sound.

„RADIO BIKINI BOTTOM“ ist ein herrlich fröhliches Album mit spongebob-typischem Wortwitz und immer wieder überraschenden Einwürfen. Alle Songs wurden „performed by SpongeBob“ alias dessen Synchronsprecher Santiago Ziesmer und seinen Freunden Patrick Star (Fritz Rott) und Sandy (Cathlen Gawlich).

SpongeBob Schwammkopf is such an interesting music oddity to me. A bunch of SpongeBob albums of parodies of pop songs sung by the German voice cast? And not just one or two, but a decade's worth, and they're still being made? Seems like the exact type of weird shit I'd enjoy looking into it, and looking into it I did. I dug through as many websites as I could with information about the albums (using Google Translate along the way) and asked some German people here about these, and eventually had all of them added to RYM. Despite this, I never actually listened to any of the albums in full, only a handful of the songs available on the YouTube channel. However, with the upcoming release of Radio Bikini Bottom, I felt compelled to listen to it, if even just for the sake of the meme.

Unfortunately, however, after doing some digging, what I suspected about it had only been confirmed. Most the music was blocked outside of Germany, and nobody bothered to share it on any more unofficial channels from what I could find. The only tracks I had access to were the ones with music videos on the YouTube channel. The music videos themselves are honestly a bit bizarre. Random clips of the show, presumably to do with the lyrics, with the occasional relevant text edited in, but that's not what I'm here to write about. I listened to all 7 songs I had access to, less than half the album, and I decided to write about them. I will say ahead of time that I don't know a lick of German, so I can't speak about the lyrics at all.

"Wer die Formel Hat" is a parody of the Robin Schulz and KIDDO song All We Got. I've never heard the original, from what I've read it seems to be a more local hit than anything else, so I can't speak about how different this version is, aside from the obvious vocals. Based on the title (which apparently translates to "Who Has the Formula") and the music video, it's a song about Plankton's attempts to steal the Krabby Patty formula, an old thematic staple of SpongeBob for essentially its entire runtime. Aside from the occasional cartoon sounds, namedrops, and interjections by Plankton, this is a pretty by-the-numbers electropop number that wouldn't be out of place in a playlist with Zedd, Calvin Harris, and The Chainsmokers. It's.. fine? I guess? Not the type of stuff I usually hear but it's safe enough.

"Schneller als du" is... a Flying Dutchman-themed remix of the Wellerman (Sea Shanty) song that was viral back in 2021?? I don't know if the arrangement was made specifically for this or not but it was a complete whiplash. Unsurprisingly, it's not really good. The fact it exists is the most interesting part about it. It's not BAD by any means but it's definitely not hoe-pleasing music. Not even hoe-scaring music. Just... making the hoes look at you weird? Yeah, that works.

"Bereit" is a parody of Friday (Dopamine Re-Edit), another song I never heard of. This one in particular is really bizarre in that the backing vocals and the other voice in the very beginning is extremely monotone and "normal"? Like, I don't know who that's supposed to be in the show, but he sounds like some tired underpaid intern who's just done with life. Other than that, there's REALLY not a lot to say about it. It's kinda annoying, the cartoon effects and random SpongeBob-y adlibs are really prominent on this one. Later Mr. Krabs and Squidward make guest appearances, but by then it's too late for them to save the track with some hot bars of their own. Ah well.

"ShakerShaker" is a milkshake themed parody of Iko Iko (My Bestie), another song I haven't heard. It's a reggaeton type thing with tropical house elements and a Patrick feature and it's, rather unsurprisingly, also fine. I don't really care for the chorus, that pseudo-Caribbean stuff always kinda annoyed me. At a certain point in the song Patrick has a verse and despite me having zero clue what he's saying it goes kinda hard?? That might just be Stockholm syndrome kicking in. There's some vocal harmonies in the last chorus that are also surprisingly solid... do I... like this one? I don't know

"Ferien!" is, wait why do those intro vocals kinda work? There's like, a weird grit to them that remind me of, and I can't believe that I'm saying this, knowing full well I am disgracing my people for daring even to mention her in the same sentence as fucking SpongeBob Schwammkopf, Elza Soares. Anyways, IS THIS A FUCKING PARODY OF BEGGIN'??? SINCE WHEN DO PEOPLE CARE ABOUT THAT SONG AGAIN? Sandy's going off??? What the fuck. Why is this actually kinda good. Wouldn't be caught dead on my playlist but, I actually kinda enjoyed this? Probably helps that I know the original song, but, jesus fuck they didn't have to go this hard.

"Radio" is a parody of Magia, another song I haven't heard of. Apparently it's... somehow about Patrick? I'm guessing it's about him listening to the radio or writing a song for the radio like that one episode, I'm not sure. There's a ukulele or something on this one, I don't really care for it. Or this song, for that matter. Definitely one of the lesser tracks.

"Schwing dein Hinterteil" is the last song I have access to, and while I could probably write an entire essay about this song, no words I write will do justice to either the song or my reaction to it. To try and write about "Schwing dein Hinterteil" is like trying to dance about architecture. It cannot be described properly in words. If you hear any song from this album, make it this. Sit your behind down on a comfy chair, make sure to put away any sharp or blunt objects, and when you think you're psychologically ready, listen to it.

The thing about SpongeBob Schwammkopf is that its existence is ten times more interesting than the music itself. You could say it's a cynical product, driven solely by monetary gain by Sony and Nickelodeon to have another channel of profit on a popular IP, and you wouldn't be wrong in the slightest. However, the voice cast definitely seems to be having fun with it, and the sheer absurdity of its existence is enough to bring me so much joy. Unfortunately, however, I cannot rate this album because I literally do not have access to it in its entirety. Two of my personal philosophical and moral pillars when it comes to media of any kind is preservation and freedom of circulation. The fact that this album's presence is restricted solely to Germany (and presumably other German speaking countries) unless you import a physical copy is nothing short of tragic. We NEED this album. We need people to listen to it and know of its existence... for the culture!!!