bvdub - Anodyne Rains (2022)

This album was written for Annie Barker. A good friend who lost her husband and best friend, Christian Smith, on August 6, 2022, suddenly and without warning.

I have lost people in my life. Both suddenly and slowly. It's impossible to say which is worse, and they both hurt. It is also impossible to transpose one's own experience with grief onto others, and any attempt to “relate” to what they are going through only succeeds in hurting more than it helps.

So I tried to communicate to her how I felt the only way I know how. I tried, in my own way, to let her know. How sorry I was. How I hoped she would be strong. How I knew her pain all too well, but never would in a million years.

The result was an album as raw as all it attempted to express.

Annie is a true soldier in the struggle in music, the arts, and the paths unchosen by most. Christian, an accomplished author and teacher, contrarian thinker, and just plain kind human being, was her rock. Her biggest fan, staunchest supporter, and fiercest defender. She now takes on so much alone that once was undertaken together. And she is doing so with the strength of thousands - even finding the force to record vocals for the last two tracks of the album from depths which would crush anyone else, including myself.

We live on opposite sides of the world. But may the rains bring peace wherever they fall...

For you, Annie and Christian.