Amanda Addleman - Into The Light (2020)

Vocalist, pianist, composer & educator, Amanda Addleman has released her latest full-length album, “Into the Light” chronicling her musical journey through a late-diagnosis of PTSD using the language of jazz. It is a collection of original pieces, re-imaginings of popular favorites and new renditions of the Great American Songbook. It features Addleman on vocals and piano, Lee Dynes on guitar, Ryan Lukas on acoustic bass and Ben Lauffer on drum kit.

Weaving together the complex narrative of Addleman’s early life and post-music school performing career, “Into the Light” explores the light and the dark both lyrically and musically. As a child, Addleman was a victim of an abusive father in an era of an antiquated and unsupportive legal system, leaving lasting scars. At a very young age, she turned to music to help her focus and was able to channel her experience through the study and performance of jazz.“I wanted to share my experiences through my original lyrics but also through my harmonic and rhythmic reactions to songs I love. Jazz music has provided an endless escape for me and I wanted to synthesize elements from the tradition into my writing and arranging.”

On original tracks like “In My Mind” and “Get Gone” Addleman speaks to the symptoms of PTSD including flashbacks and nightmares which have plagued her throughout her entire life. “It’s been an extremely cathartic process for me to not only write, perform and record these experiences but documenting this process has been an extremely important part of my recovery.” Other original pieces on the album include “When the Lights Are Gone” and “Almost Gone” which outline how Addleman has operated in close personal relationships through the lens of PTSD. “There is a line in ‘When the Lights…” that says, ‘I’m fine. . . I keep telling myself I’m fine’ which speaks to my inability to communicate my true experience to myself or anyone else. This was a confusing time and the constant wishing for the lights to go out, was a cry for help. I needed the confusion to pause, even if just for a moment.”

On“Blue Skies” Addleman rearranges the Irving Berlin classic to include R&B references as well as floating dissonances in the harmony that provides a new interpretation of the standard. “This piece is about the battle between the light and the dark. The lyrics are sweet and optimistic while the harmony broods. This is exactly how PTSD works for me. On the outside, I’m doing fine and no one could detect anything but on the inside, I’m struggling to get out of bed every day.”

Many of the songs on “Into the Light” are power pieces where Addleman could find strength in arranging others’ works. UK artist Fink’s “This is the Thing,” showcases that power dynamic and sits as the first track on the album. “As a young performer struggling with undiagnosed personal issues, I found that maintaining close relationships was incredibly difficult but I always found strength in writing and performing my music. While the lyric of this piece is about the lonely artist, it is contrasted by the driving rhythm and open harmony which brings power to the piece. This was a piece in particular where I could channel my experience but rise above it at the same time.”

“Into the Light” is an exploration of Addleman’s creative journey through PTSD expressed through the language of jazz and original music. “Through the process of writing and recording this record, I can honestly say, I’m changed for the better. I’m a better musician and a better human being and I have this process to thank for that.” Addleman is excited to continue writing and reflecting on her experiences through the jazz tradition.